Friday, November 13, 2009

"Don't make me count to Three" Chapters 3-4

 Chapter 3-4 Overview

Basically for those of you just joining in on these Book Overviews, what we are doing is going through "Parenting in the Pew" and "Don't make me count to Three." I give you a week or two to read through some chapters and then I give a brief (well sometimes) overview of the book.. I highlight what I think stood out in that chapter and then I post it for you all to read. So join in with us!  

Chapter 3-4

Drawing issues out from the Heart
We should seek to understand what is in the heart of our children as well as show them how to understand and evaluate what is in their hearts.
When you help your child understand what is in his heart, you are teaching him to evaluate his own motives, which will help to equip him for his walk with Christ as he grows into an adult. And as we saw in Proverbs 31, "such a child will grow up and call his mother blessed."

  • God has given us His Word and He expects us to use it in training our children. 
When issues are not directly addressed in the Bible, He has given us open communication with Him through prayers. He tell us in James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
 1 Corinthians says, "Love is not rude"

Your first objection in correction must be not to tell your child how you feel about what they have done or said but to draw out the cause of the behavior.
Draw out the attitude of the heart by asking heart-related questions. You must help them in order to understand what is going on inside them. So look at the world through their eyes.

So we all know that when we figure something else out on our own we are more likely to remember it. So when your child learns how to recognize what is in his own heart, he is more likely to demonstrate godly responses on his own. in doing this he is growing in wisdom.

Here are some questions you can ask to get to the heart of the problem:

  • What were you feeling when you hit your sister?
  • What did you sister do to make you mad?
  • Did hitting her seem to make things better or worse between you two?
  • What was the problem with what she was doing to you?
Gods Word is profitable and beneficial for all ages. God's word NEVER changes...
So in all conflicts we should begin our training by seeking to understand the nature of the internal conflict that is expressed in the outward behaviour. For probing their heart, teaching them how to think like christians, and helping them discern the matters of their hearts, there are three issues to walk then through:
1.What was the nature of the temptation?
2.How did he respond to the temptation?
3.What other ways could have been responded that would have been better?

So encourage yourself to pull out what is in the heart of your child, work through how your child can replace what is wrong witht what is right, and then have your hild put what he has learned into practice. That is how to train them in righteousness.
Remember this is a process, and will not happen over night.

"Don't make me count to three": A moms look at heart-oriented discipline
by:Ginger Plowman


ap5 said...

I thought her encouragements in this area were really helpful. I didn't read it in the last week or two but I remember the sample questions/scenarios were helpful. I'm going to look into that other book too!

gusandkrysten said...

I did really like the questions/ scenarios as well. It helps us understand what we should be asking...

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